Dream World
by StarrySkies423
Summary: Eli's life seems perfect. He has the perfect girl, Clare Edwards, by his side and feels unstoppable. But what happens when he wakes up to a new world where he doesn't know who to trust or where to turn?
1. Chapter 1

**Yay, the first chapter of my new fic "Dream World". A little prologue for you to get a taste of what's gonna happen in this 8 chapter Degrassi fanfiction about what happens when Eli's world is turned upside down. Hope you enjoy! I actually am done with the entire story so I'll be posting frequently. Also, about my other Degrassi fic "Powerful" I kind of stopped updating because the story didn't make any sense. Somehow they got to the Grand Canyon and Leonardo DaVinci was somewhat behind everything (no clue what I was thinking when I was writing it). But, if you really want me to finish and you just have to know what happened to Eli, leave a review or message and I'll put it up. For now, enjoy this fiction that does not involve canyons or historic figures and please leave a review!**

_You have pretty eyes._

The words that started everything, that spur of the moment comment that sparked my love for Clare Edwards. Even her name sounds like poetry. I remember the day I first saw her like it was yesterday.

It was a warm autumn Thursday morning in Toronto Canada. I'd just moved from Ottawa into a quaint brick colonial in the Degrassi area. Bullfrog got offered a job at a radio station and we had no ties where we were in Ottawa. It was two weeks into the school year, and already I'd been labeled as the freak. The goth. The emo boy who was obsessed with death. I mean, I did drive a hearse, what could I expect? Hearing the mindless gossip about me as I walked down the halls was quite amusing, actually. _I bet he keeps dead bodies in the back of that car. _I heard someone say. And I laughed at it. Amazing what people can twist into a silly fictitious story and amazing how quickly it spreads.

It was the afternoon and I was glad to be going home. School work was already piling up and with my disorganized nature, I'd be behind in no time. Best to stay on task as long as I could. I pulled out of my parking space and drove down through the parking lot. I cranked up my stereo to the max and put down my window to let a cool breeze in.

_Crunch._

I looked across the parking lot and saw two girls with wide eyes. One, an Indian girl with flashy jewelry and too high heels and another with curly light brown hair, wearing a jean jacket. Even from a distance, I can tell that her eyes were bright blue. I realized that I had run over something of there's because they are running over to my car. High school girls don't usually run over to hearses by choice. I got out of the car and noticed that, yes, I had run over something. I picked up a pair of gold wire framed glasses. _I think they're dead._ Shoot, more reason for them to think I'm obsessed with dead things. _Th-that's okay. I got laser eye surgery. _The blue eyed one says. She looked down, shyly. I hand the glasses to her and she looks up at me. Yes, a chance to look at her eyes. The color of the sky. No, brighter, bluer. _You have pretty eyes. _There I said it. _Thanks. _She said quietly. _See you around? _She asked unsure of whether it was the appropriate thing to say. _Guess you will. _I answered, leaving a sense of mystery. I got back in my car and drove away. Really, I wanted to stay behind and talk to the girl. For the first time in my life, I wanted to know everything about someone I barely knew. I wanted to know what made her tick, what ticked her off, what books she read, what she thought about life and society and music. I wanted to know her more than anything else.

But then I wasn't the type to go up to a girl and just randomly start talking to her. So I learned about her. I learned that her name was Clare Edwards. I learned that she wore a private school uniform for the majority of her grade 9 year. I learned that she was in the gifted program and was switching into my English class. I learned that she dated a boy named KC who broke her heart. But I didn't learn any of that from her.

Ms. Dawes made my dreams come true. She was the one that started it all really. Without her, I would never have talked to Clare. If we hadn't been writing partners, she would just know me as the guy who smushed her glasses. The guy who drew on he nails during English class. Now I was the guy who challenged her. Brought her out of her comfort zone. Understood about her parents and actually listened. I became her guy.

It was June and probably one of the best days weather wise of the year. We were driving through the streets around Degrassi, which we often liked to do. I let Clare choose the radio station, an indie selection that ranged from grunge to candy coated pop.

"I really liked your last essay," I told her.

"Thanks," Clare said sweetly.

"I especially liked that Elias character." I added.

"I thought you would." The edges of Clare's mouth curled into a smile.

"Eli, I wish you could hear me." I heard a female voice say. It wasn't Clare's. It was airy, like it was in the distance. There was a layer of static, as if it was trying to get through to me. Clare didn't seem to notice and I didn't react.

"Do you think that the symbolism I used was too cliché? Too-"

"It was perfect." I finished for her.

"Eli you don't know how much I miss you." That same voice said, clearer this time, "I want to see you smile again." I just kept driving. In fact, it was as if it didn't sway me at all. It's pretty unusual not to be a little suspicious of disembodied voices, so why wasn't I questioning this?

"You're just being nice because I'm your girlfriend." Clare said jokingly.

"Caught red handed!" I joked back. I laughed.

"Eli, please open your eyes. You don't know how much I want to talk to you again. I need you. You make my world happy. I can't do anything without you by my side." The voice said. It sounded close, yet far away. It echoed too.

"Do you want to go get hot chocolate?" Clare asked me.

"You know how much I love the Dot's hot chocolate, so that is a yes. And do you know what else I love?" I asked Clare.

"What?" She asked innocently.

"You."

My eyes burst open, only to be blinded by harsh fluorescent light. All I could see was white. White ceiling, white walls. My closed my eyes again and opened them. I could see now. I was in a bed, wearing a hospital gown. Tubes coming out of my nose were hooked to a machine and the beep beep beep of the moniter played in the background. I groaned. Everything hurt. Where was I? One second I'm in the car with Clare, now I'm in a hospital? Was there an accident? Was Clare okay?

"Eli?" Someone said. I twisted my head tentatively. A girl, my age, with dark brown hair, and eyes to match stood up slowly from a seat next to my bed. Her clothes were black and she wore a guitar pick necklace. Didn't I own that necklace?

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Eli, you don't remember?" I shook my head as best as I could without hurting myself too bad. "It's Julia. Julia Myers. Your girlfriend?" Her voice was the same as the voice from the car.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey y'all! Yay, chapter two! Sorry it's been awhile. School and such really get in the way. Anywho, when we last left Eli he had just woken up in a hospital, expecting to see the love of this life, Clare Edwards, somewhere. Of course Eli's life can never be simple, so there's a girl named Julia in his hospital room claiming to be his girlfriend. No good can arise from that, huh? Well read on and enjoy. Review= happy author, so if you have time leave one! **

"You're the voice." I told her, matter of factly.

"What voice?" She asked, puzzled, "Eli, they said that you'd be confused once you woke up, so I'll try my best to explain it to you." She walked over and sat on the edge of my bed. She pushed hair away from my eyes and let her hand linger on my forehead. "You were in an accident-"

"A car accident? Is Cl-" I stopped myself. If this Julia character said she was my girlfriend, then where did Clare fit in? _She_ was my girlfriend. Then it dawned on me. This accident that Julia had only started to describe put me into a coma and there, I thought up an elaborate alternate life with Clare Edwards and Degrassi. They probably don't exist. What an awful surprise to wake up to.

"Not exactly. We're still not sure about what happened, but you were attacked and… I better not get to far into it. We just have to let you relax for now. I'll be by your side the whole time." She smiled. "You do remember me, Eli?"

I tried to strain myself, think hard about this girl. Her face seemed similar, those warm chocolate eyes, maybe not as stunning as- wait she doesn't exist.

Yes, I'd seen her before. But I couldn't imagine a where. Or a what. "Yes, I-I think so. I'm shaky, that's all." I muttered.

She kissed my forehead tenderly, "All in good time." She said. "Let me go get the nurse. She'll want to check on you. And of course Bullfrog and Cece." Julia turned to leave.

"Julia, wait." She turned around, "Where are we?" I asked.

"St. Andrews Memorial Hospital in Ottawa, Ontario. Your home city." She reminded me.

This convinced me that the whole thing had been part of a dream state. Degrassi was just a figment of my imagination, and so was every one there. Adam, Fitz, Fiona, and _Clare_. Maybe it would be best not to dwell on what didn't even exist. Try to ease my way back into real life after this _accident_. Still I had questions.

The nurse checked me out and said that I'd made remarkable progress. Whatever that meant. I still had no idea of what happened. All I knew is that my head was bandaged up and hurt pretty badly and my leg was broken.

Julia stayed by me for the next few days, sometimes reading me a graphic novel and sometimes just sitting there quietly. She was remarkable, really. She seemed intense at first, but when I got to know her, or reknow her, I saw this kind, sweet girl with a love for the same music I liked and awesome artistic skills. Maybe things wouldn't be bad, if this Julia girl loved me like she showed. Still I thought of Clare, and secretly in my mind, I knew Julia could nowhere compare to her. Clare was the perfect girl, and that's all she could ever be. A perfect girl because perfect girls don't exist. Julia was close though, but still…

And Julia's eyes, although they were in color a warm chocolate brown, maybe giving the impression that she was friendly and cheerful, had another layer to them. Beneath their cozy exterior there lurked something that wasn't right. A glimmer that made me nervous. Clare's eyes were just filled with beauty and humor, but Julia's seemed scared all the time. I didn't know what to make of it.

I tried to forget Clare, I really did, but sometimes memories become too powerful to forget. Everything was so vivid. I was able to remember every conversation we had ever had, every movement she made and every laugh we shared. I could almost feel her touch, her warm hand gently gliding into mine. I could almost hear her twinkling giggle and her matter-of-fact voice she used when we were disagreeing. I could almost taste the hot chocolate which we both loved so well. But I knew it was an elaborate mind game and that on this planet, she did not exist.

So I concentrated on Julia, my parents and relearning my place in this world. I remembered most things, such as who my friends were, my house and what I liked and disliked. I just put aside all the Degrassi thoughts and remembered everything else easily. Memories of Julia started to float in, one my one, but along with the happy ones, came strange ones. Ones where her face was alien. Her eyes, still glimmering with that weird sense of unease, were prominent, her brow furrowed, her mouth twitching and her nose flared. Ones where it seemed her animal instincts took over everything and a whole other side of Julia came out. Those were blurry, but still disconcerting in the least. I couldn't believe these memories were about the same Julia I was seeing. The sweet considerate one always eager to do what I pleased. Maybe it was just another mind game. I put that out of my head to.

I was released from the hospital three days after I woke up. I had healed considerably and just needed to take a few pills each day and walk on crutches. Still, no one told me what happened, no matter how many times I asked Julia, Cece or Bullfrog. Every time they just shook their head and said, "Eli, what's done is done and we can only look forward." This cryptic message repeated time and time again in my head as I tried to decode what they meant. Had I perhaps spurred the accident? Was there some kind of danger that would arise if I knew? I decided not to pressure it too much once I got back to the Ottawa house I thought I had left.

My room was as I remembered and I was comfortably set up in my bed with a view out the window as well as the TV. I could get used to constant video games and the bright sun streaming through the large picture window.

One day, a couple of days after I had gotten back home, it wasn't so sunny. Rain streamed down the roof and pitter pattered on the street pavement. The sky was a slate gray and the clouds heavy. Thunder echoed in the distance, and infrequent strikes of lightning made glowing veins in the sky. The storm began to get more intense with more water streaming down from the heavens and thunder getting louder.

A strike of lightning lit up the sky. I looked out my window, and saw someone standing across the street from my house. Her curly hair blew behind her head and she wrapped herself in a jean jacket, already soaking. Her eyes were electric. Instantly, I thought Clare. I tried to get up to get a better look, but once I got to the window, she was gone.

"Eli, we're going to get soaked," Clare shouted playfully at me. Still I dragged her out of the car and into the pouring rain, gushing down form the sky leaving a clean smell in the air and puddles on the ground.

"Clare, you only live once, come on!" I lifted my face up to the sky and let the fat water droplets hit it. I looked back at Clare, my hair soaking wet and water dripping down my nose. She smiled at me. "Come on," I took her hand and began to run down the street. I took a sharp right turn down a dirt path and continued running.

"Eli, where are you taking me?" She shouted over the sound of the rain beating down.

"Don't question, just come!" I continued running down the path. The trees around us swayed and gave us no shelter from the elements. One last turn and we were standing in the middle of a meadow. The grass was as tall as our ankles and red and blue flowers dotting the emerald green turf.

"It's-it's beautiful." Clare said. I looked at her. Her eyes sparkled in comparison to the grey sky and even though it was dark outside, they reflected light. Her short hair hung down to her shoulders in little ringlets. She looked gorgeous.

"You look beautiful." I told her. She blushed. I traced her cheek bone with my finger and let my hand rest behind her neck. I pulled her in closer and closer and let my lips graze hers. The rain was soaking through my clothes and freezing me. None of that mattered. All that mattered was Clare.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3- we find out more about Eli's past… Also, see if you can spot the allusion I made to another TV show (hint it's mentioned in my profile). Leave a comment!**

It was time for me to go back to school. I was healed sufficiently and Cece and Bullfrog thought it was a good idea that I be reinstated with my high school, Mulder Community School. Of course I begged to have a few mental health days more, as I was still struggling to remember simple details. The Degrassi memories, or should I say dreams, that I was still trying to forget about kept clouding reality and I couldn't distinguished dream from life. Julia helped me though. Julia was there all the time, sometimes stretching into the night when she should have been sleeping, sometimes very early in the morning when no one should even be awake. I began to fall in love with her. Maybe I was in love with her before my accident, but I knew now that I cared for her deeply. I forgot about her strange eyes and just concentrated on everything else. She was funny and creative. She loved to think and write and perform. And she was real. That made all the difference.

Julia stopped by my house the day of my return to school. The doorbell rang as I was making my way cautiously down the stairs. I hobbled over to answer it and saw Julia's smiling face when I opened the door.

"Ready for the big day?" She asked me. I let her in. Cece and Bullfrog both had to go to work early, so we were alone. The floor creaked as my crutches moved across the floor and Julia's slow footsteps followed me. I sat down on the couch.

"I guess." I told her. "Was I excited about school before?" I asked. I didn't imagine myself as the type who woke up in the morning and only thought about school.

"Not particularly, but you're always excited to see the crew." She was talking about my two best friends, whom I remembered well, Alex and Jordan. Alex, a quiet computer guy with a semi-mischievous and clever mind and Jordan, the classic bad boy type with his loud motorcycle and rebellious attitude. There was also Eva, Alex's twin sister, and Nicole, Jordan's girlfriend and together we were a group.

I nodded at Julia. She scooted closer to me on the couch. "I missed you when you were out." She said. She referred to my time in the hospital as when I was 'out'. Out of this world really… "You're everything to me, Eli. You make my day every time I see you. And I love you and being close to you." She said.

"I-I love you too." I said. This was the first time I admitted it out loud, but it sounded like the truth.

Julia smiled, but her eyes looked empty.

She moved even closer to me on the couch until she was practically on top of me and grabbed my head from behind my neck and brought me in for a deep kiss. We sunk farther into the couch and I lost track of everything. What was happening? Of course I love this girl, but we haven't kissed like this since I was 'out'. I kept thinking we were going too fast, but then I thought about how before everything, this was probably a norm.

"What time is it?" I asked once Julia stopped kissing me.

"Fifteen," Julia kissed my neck, "minutes till first bell." I got up and Julia followed.

"How do we get to school?" I asked.

"We walk." She said.

"You mean I don't have a car?" I thought of Morty, my beloved hearse, the one where Clare and I spent much of our time in.

"No." Julia said tightly, clearly not wanting to explain any thing else.

I got my crutches and hobbled out the front door. It was getting easier to walk now, and the school was just a block down. It wouldn't be torture.

We got to school in ten minutes with just enough time to find our friends. I remembered our usual meeting place outside of the computer lab in a little used hallway. Everyone was there when we got there.

"Eli!" Eva squealed. Eva was a peppy brunette, but don't get the impression that she was a cheerleader or one of those popular girls. Eva wore all black and loved everything pop culture. She was an awesome person.

"Lil' Eva!" I said. She embraced me in an awkward hug (crutches, ugh) and sat down next to her brother.

Jordan slapped me on the back, hard. He was a big, tall and strong guy. His slaps hurt bad. "That was something I didn't miss." I told him. He smiled. Well, not exactly a smile. Jordan didn't smile.

"Hi Eli," Nicole said. I waved at her.

"Alex, buddy!" I said, directed at my best friend.

"Uh, hi Eli. I didn't know you would be back today and that Julia would be accompanying you." He said. His eyes looked nervous and frightened.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't she be? She's my girlfriend." I said.

The gang looked around at each other. I looked up at Julia, a little puzzled, but she just looked at everyone intensely. "Of course. I'm sorry I forgot to tell you guys that Eli would be back." Her voice was sharp.

Jordan cleared his voice, "Well, we better go." He motioned for every one to follow him. "See you later, Eli." He told me. I waved goodbye.

"Good to see them again," I said to Julia once they had left.

"Yeah, about that Eli." She motioned for me to sit down next to her on a bench, "Your memory has been fuzzy since your accident so you may not remember some of the things that happened before." She was right. I could remember names and places, but not events. "You and the crew got into a fight. They started it and it was over something trivial, but we generally like to stay away from them now. I don't think it's a good idea for you to talk to them much." She told me.

"What are you talking about? They seemed happy to see me back there." I explained.

"Yeah, sure. Only because of your accident. They told me themselves that they'd be nice to you but didn't want to see you much. It's best not to open up old wounds, so I'd stay away for now." Julia said.

How much I wanted to question what I or they had done for us to fight. It didn't make sense. Eva was genuinely happy. Jordan was almost smiling. And Alex- Alex had acted weird. Maybe it wasn't so unbelievable.

"Plus," Julia leaned over and kissed my ear, "that gives you more time for me." She said. I smiled and kissed her. She'd really been great. I can't tell you how much it meant to me that I had someone whom I could trust always near.

The bell rang, signaling for us to go to our first period class. For me, that was Computers. Our teacher was Mr. Sylvestri. I wish I had Ms. Oh at that moment for my computers class. Mr. Sylvestri was old and probably didn't know what a computer was for most of his life. Alex was in that class. As I walked in to take my seat at the opposite side of the room from him, trying to take Julia's advice, he switched to the monitor next to mine. He smiled at me. I didn't acknowledge him. He rolled his eyes and muttered something. Class started and I tried not to think about the thing Julia had said about my friendship circle falling apart. What kind of fight could tear us apart? We were inseparable, Alex, Jordan, Eva and I, since grade school. Nicole and Julia were added in high school. There was something I remembered about the tension in our group. Something that wasn't trivial after all. Should I ask Alex what happened? Julia sure wouldn't tell me, but I didn't want to start a bigger conflict with Alex. I was torn.

The bell rang and I turned to Alex. "Alex, there was something that happened before my accident between us. It was bad, wasn't it?" I asked him.

"Who told you that?" He asked me.

"Julia." I said.

"Eli I know you've probably lost a lot of your memories through this so called accident, which believe me, it was not, and I know that Julia's probably filling your mind with your so called memories right now, claiming that she's trying to help you, so I'm not going to get that mad. There was something big that happened, but it wasn't between us. In fact, I haven't seen you in-" Alex stopped.

"Seen me in when? Alex come on, I'm clueless about my accident. My parents won't tell me. My friends and girlfriend won't tell me and now you're keeping this from me. How come everyone knows what happened! How come I'm supposed to figure it out for myself?" I asked.

"Eli I've already said too much. I got myself involved in this and the only way for me to get out of it safely is to keep quiet. If I talk, then I'll never talk again. Okay? I think it would be best if you took some time for yourself and don't talk to me for awhile. You're going to get me into trouble if you do. This is for your own benefit, Eli. I'm thinking of you. Just don't trust any one. Even those who seem closest." Alex explained.

I processed what he said for a moment. "If you're not going to help me, then I'll find someone who can." I said.

"Eli this is your battle to fight. Don't drag any one else into this, especially me. I'm too far into this already." He said. He walked around me and out the door.

What was I supposed to think now? My best friend tells me he can't help me, he gives me all these clues about what happened, dances around something bigger, and leaves. I played over our conversation again and again in my mind, but nothing jumps out. How am I supposed to fight my own battle if I don't even know what battle I'm fighting?

Exasperated, I walked out the computer lab door and went outside. It was my free period now, so I decided to go to the courtyard and think. It was a nice day, unusual for November, so I took advantage of it by sitting in the sun. I decided on a bench in the direct sunlight. I walked over to it and sit down. I opened up my backpack and dug around, trying to find a book. Reading always makes me think harder. My hands land on a small paperback book and I draw it out. It's a worn copy of _Romeo__and__Juliet_, one that I'd seen before, just not in Ottawa. It was the copy that the school gave us at Degrassi. Yes, I open it and see a number, indicating it belongs to a school. I flip through the pages and see lines highlighted. It was the death scene. The scene I did my project on.

* * *

><p>"What's your favorite work by Shakespeare?" I asked Clare before English class one day before we even got the assignment.<p>

"Romeo and Juliet, probably," Clare explained, "The theme of love is so strong. It shows to what extent someone is willing to die for someone else and I think that's a noble thing."

"So you'd die for someone you loved?" I asked her.

"I'd give up everything for the person I loved if I had to." Clare answered cryptically.

I remembered what she told me a couple of days later when I went to Ms. Dawes to get our assignment.

"Eli, who is in your group?" She asked me once I was at her desk.

"Adam and Clare." I told her.

"Then I think I'll let you choose out your work. We have the Taming of the Shrew, Othello, The Twelfth Night, Romeo and Juliet-"

"Romeo and Juliet please." I said quickly.

"Ah, looks like you're ready to bring some romance to the table, Mr. Goldsworthy." Was it true? Was I ready to make my move on Clare? I had so much baggage, stuff that she didn't want to, know, shouldn't have to deal with. But I liked her so much.

"Excellent choice. I think that your group will be pleased with your selection." She said and winked at me. I don't know why, but I winked back.

* * *

><p>That memory played in my head, so vivid, so real. Just merely touching the book that I was almost sure was Clare's copy from school made those memories come to life. It felt so real. The coma. The dream state. I was convinced by now that Clare existed somewhere. I saw her a couple of days ago, I was certain. This clue, this book, proved that I wasn't totally crazy. Now it was time for me to prove it. To find her. For some strange reason, I knew that she'd help me fight my battle. Or know, possibly, what it was.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

**Bah, it's "that filler chapter" that every fanfiction requires. I promise that after this chapter, things will start to heat up… Also I've decided to return back to my old fanfiction "Powerful". If you like superheroes, conspiracies and weird groups, take a look. Review, check out my profile, and read! **

I did the math in my head. If Clare existed, then I had lived in Toronto. If I had lived in Toronto, then no one was telling me the truth. If no one was telling me anything, then I'd know that it was part of my battle. It was all interconnected. One lie after another. I wasn't sure if the people around me lied to protect or hurt me. I assumed a mix of both.

It was amazing how easily paranoid I became after that. I felt like I was part of some conspiracy. I trusted Julia though, and no one else. I don't' know why I trusted her. She probably lied to me too, but she'd told me more than any one else. She'd never do me wrong.

"Have I always lived in Ottawa?" I asked her one day.

"Of course. Why?" She asked.

"I just had a feeling I've moved before." I told her plainly.

"Honey, it's just your imagination. You've been in Ottawa since you were born." She said.

"Have I ever been to Toronto?" I asked her.

"No." She said plainly. "You have never been to Toronto, nor know any one there."

That deflated me. I believed Julia. I know she'd tell me if I had lived there or even gone there. That would give me plausible reason to believe that I wasn't imagining completely everything. Perhaps, if I had visited Toronto and had met a girl named Clare, then that whole dream could have arisen out of that. But how'd I dream up someone I've never meant and a place I'd never gone to?

I didn't get any insight about my accident either. Alex didn't talk to me. Neither did sweet Eva or tough Jordan. Whenever they saw me in the hallways, they'd look at me, then look away quickly. They knew something, they just weren't telling me anything. I didn't push it.

There were two conflicts in my life. The first being Clare and Degrassi. The second being my accident. They kept crossing over. Sometimes I thought that the lies and secrets about Toronto and my accident were the same. Sometimes I felt that they were two separate things. I couldn't distinguish the line between them and I was at a dead end. My parents rarely talked to me. They seemed skittish and scared all the time. I couldn't blame them, their son had just been severely injured. Julia only gave me yes or no answers, but I knew she was trying her best. And that was the end of my resources. What was I supposed to do now? Give up on both? Just forget about it and move on? As much as I tried to just let it be, I couldn't. It was eating at me, these two things. Clare and the accident, Clare and the accident. All I thought about. What was my life like before all of this? Where was the truth?

I decided to go on a long walk the day that my cast was taken off to celebrate my recovery. And also to think. I'd done an awful lot of thinking, but none of it helped. I walked into the downtown area, up a sidewalk, past some stores and then I saw her.

Her hair reflected gold in the sunlight, her denim dress hugging her body well. She was walking in front of me. Walking farther and farther away. I pushed past people to get to her, to see if it was possibly true. "Clare!" I shouted. She started to walk faster. "Clare!" I said again. She didn't stop.

"Clare Edwards, I know you know me." She stopped suddenly. Her shoulders rose and she began to look back. Her face was just as I had remembered. She started to walk faster, disappearing into the crowd.

"Clare, you're the only one that can help me!" I ran after her.

She turned around to face me, then looked around. "You can't talk to me or else they'll know." She said tightly. "You have to move on. You have to understand that this is for your own good. You have to understand that you can't see or talk to me again, no matter how much you feel you need to. You cannot." She said quietly. She began to move again. I caught up with her.

"Just tell me if my accident and me knowing you are related. I have to know what's going on, even if you can't tell me much." I said.

"I can't tell you anything because I care about you. Just know that you're trusting the wrong people. The people who are responsible for all of this. I have to go now. They're here somewhere." Clare explained.

"That's good enough for me. I'm not crazy, you're real, and so are my suspicions. One day we're going to be able to talk again. See each other without fear, I promise you." I told her.

"Don't get too attached. One day I'll be gone for good. Don't hold on to something that isn't even there. Just know I believe in you and know that you'll right everything. I have to go." She said.

"I'll miss you." I told her.

"Don't." She left.

That was good enough for me. Clare Edwards was a real person. I had gone to Toronto. I was being lied to. There was a they, and they didn't mean well. But, who was they? That was my next step, to uncover more clues, figure out what the hell was going on in my life. If I had to live like this forever, constantly unaware of whom I could trust and what had happened to cause this, I would die. I just had to find the truth. It was out there somewhere.

* * *

><p>"I don't know why you can't tell her. It's not that bad, we all have secrets." Adam said to me one day.<p>

"It's not just a secret, it's another half of my life. It keeps me up at night, it worries me constantly. I don't know if I'm done with it for good or if it'll come back and haunt me now." I said.

"Eli, you're safe here. Nothing can come and hurt you, so just tell her. She'll understand. She'll want to help. She'll get it." Adam tried to convince me.

"No. You don't understand what'll happen if she gets involved. Bad things Adam. I'm risking it with you, but I know if they find out that Clare knows, she'll be in danger. Just trust me on this." I told him.

"You really love her," Adam said.

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>I didn't know what that memory meant. Sometimes I'd just get random pieces of conversation, random images. Just thoughts that appeared in my head. This was one of them. I had no clue what I was talking about, but I assumed it was connected to whatever my accident was about. If I remembered correctly, then there <em>was<em>another half of my life. A dangerous one. A secret one. One that would end up hurting me in the end. The conversation with Clare and this memory lifted a load off my shoulders. I knew I was close to something big. I knew it was in my reach, deep in my subconscious too. It's hard to distinguish a feeling from knowledge sometimes. This time I knew that I was on to something.


End file.
